


One sunset each day

by a_certain_kind_of_dread



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Barbossa is a scary grumpy grandpa, Doubt, Elizabeth and Will deserved better, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, I wanted to write a sexy sword fight but got this instead, I'm Sorry, Jack is a good friend, POV Elizabeth Swann, Sad, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_certain_kind_of_dread/pseuds/a_certain_kind_of_dread
Summary: Elizabeth had not chosen this life, and she never would have. But she will manage. She always will.
Relationships: Elizabeth Swann/Will Turner
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	One sunset each day

She didn’t know if the first few nights were worse, or the years later on. Seeing the green hue in the sky the first evening without him made everything crash down. He was gone, gone for ten years, and for a moment she thought it would be better if he was gone forever. She hid away his heart, and it would stay there, only her and Jack would ever know where it is. The night was long and cold, and had Jack not found her in the morning, freezing and passed out, who knows what would have happened. He was worried, but she was angry. All this just for her to die the night after the battle was won?

It had cost her everything, her title, her life, her father, her lover. But they won. And she had still the robes and the title. She was not the gouvernors daughte anymore, but the pirate king. And she would be until next time everyone meets, which frankly might not even happen. But the title meant a lot, and she quickly realised it opened many doors. The life of a pirate was thrilling and she did not know if she enjoyed the thrill or secretly wished to perish in the open sea, for she knew who would wait for her. 

But she couldn’t do that to him, no, he doesn’t deserve having to carry his own wifes soul forth. So she fought, fierce and deadly. It didn’t last long, only a few months later and she realised she had been left pregnant. She was terrified, she didn’t want a child now, she was alone, afraid, she had just lost everything and needed to find her place in the world again. In a fit of worry, drunk and with tears streaming down her face she stumbled onto Jack and the crew in Tortuga. They scolded her, it wasn’t a place for a pregnant woman, and rum was no drink for one. 

Jack was not a caring man. He loved her, for sure, in a way he only loved friends so far. But he could not and would not stay with her. But he did help, he was with her when she couldn’t walk much anymore. It meant a lot, knowing him and Barbossa gave up months of freedom on sea just to help her. Sometimes she wasn’t sure if they did it for her, or for Will. But she was grateful still, and even if they complained at her anger and later at the babys cries, they stayed. 

Only when they were certain she could manage they left again. They made sure to visit, she was always welcoming them with rum she stashed away for them. Henry grew on them, even if they insisted they hated children. They didn’t hate him. She missed Will again, she always did. Now it seemed even worse. When he would fall asleep she would spend hours crying at the shore, or screaming angrily. She had a sword hidden away, and would be shocked by finding herself thinking of how to put it to one last use. 

But she managed. She loved Henry, she did. She was proud seeing him grow up into a lively child, and he lifted her spirits greatly. It was a hazard once he started walking, but she managed. Jack and Barbossa were still visiting her, and she moved into a small village for a bit. She needed company. She was an outcast, alone, with a small child. When someone would ask, she aways said her husband was at sea. Some believed her, some thought he died at sea. She couldn’t help but think that they were right.

She enjoyed it for a while, but started hating it again. She hated the sunsets the most. Every time she would have her heart broken, the green flash was never to be seen. Of course it wasn’t, she felt dumb for even hoping it. But she did. And she hated it. Five years after he left, a toddler in her care, and she broke down again. She felt like all of this was wrong. She was forced into this life, all because one time Jack saved her life. Had she only not fainted she would have married Norrington and now have a rich and happy life. She cursed that day and the corset. 

The next time Jack came, she screamed at him, threw vases and bottles. Henry was asleep, and even if he was awoken he didn’t leave his room. She screamed at Jack, her voice hoarse and tears in her eyes. Had he not saved her. Had he not threatened her. Had she not taken the medaillon. Had she not stood on his side. Had he only left her to drown. It took a lot of force and many words to finally calm her down, until she ended up sobbing in Jacks chest. He was certain one of them would end up dead that night, and was baffled he managed to avoid that fate. 

He stayed with them, and Henry was delighted. Jack saw Elizabeths sorrow, her pain, and with a lot of love for her and Will he decided to sacrfice a few months for her. He left again, and returned with a calm and gentle woman, a friend of his. He led Henry away to play with her and sat Elizabeth down. She was shocked by his offer, and utterly speechless. He expected her to refuse at first, but instead she stayed silent and looked out of the window for the rest of the evening. She put Henry to sleep, and after several more hours, deep in the night she agreed with Jack.

She packed her stuff, put all the dresses away, and found her old clothes from when she was part of a pirate crew. It seemed like a lifetime ago when only six years had passed. She spent the rest of the week with Henry, and then sat him down to gently explain to him that she will be going away for several weeks. He threw a tantrum, cried, screamed, but when Elizabeth sobbed silently into her hands he calmed down and gave her a long hug. She was surprised to see the sudden change, and he explained with clumsy words that he would miss her but that she can go. He didn’t understand why, but years later it would be clearer to him. She left, worried but relieved. The woman and Jack on occasion would care for Henry. Elizabeth was free to do whatever, if she doesn’t return after six months then it would mean that she would give Henry to the permanent care of Jacks friend. If she didn’t return after a year they would presume she had died. 

It was an awkward transitionary period, after being used to taking care of a small child for so long. But she quickly joined a crew, and to her surprise she was recognized amongst pirates. She was known as Pirate King Elizabeth Turner (Jack had insisted in each and every story he told that she is a Turner), and she was highly respected for it. She was immediately given a rank as high as the captains, free to do any work she wants. It was an unusual feeling, but it was welcomed. She would enjoy the sailing and help around when she could. But what she had missed was the pillaging.

She didn’t like the thought of stealing and killing, but the thrill when she would clash blades with another was enough to shift her moral compass in another direction. She looked back often at how she became a swordsman and how she trained with Will, how she got taught by Jack and how Barbossa told her she would either be skilled or die. She still wasn’t sure how she changed so quickly from a lady to a pirate, but Jack’s words would always ring in her head. „You were always a pirate Elizabeth“. She used to dismiss him but the more she spent time on sea the more she had to admit he was right.

Weeks passed and she greatly enjoyed her newfound freedom. More and more she realised that the life of a mother was not what she had wanted, it was not what she had yearned for. It brought heavy tears to realise that the only reason she had kept Henry was that he was the only thing left from Will. The only thing from her life she had before was Wills child. It hurt and she hated herself for admitting it. She did not want a child, and was Will there she would have waited years until she considers one. 

She thought of Will often, even more than before. Everything on sea seemed to remind her of him, and everything on the ship brought back memories. She found herself looking at the sunset every day, and the crew quickly learned not to disturb her when she would lean on the deck and watch them. Every time she would be disappointed, the green flash she had once seen now a far off and distant memory. Everything seemed far, even Henrys smile and childish brabble seemed long in the past. She found herself enjoying this a lot, and sometimes would wonder if she even wanted to return. She knew that Henry would miss her, that he is probably waiting for her every day. But she didn’t know if she wanted to go back. 

She found herself gaining a lot of attention from the men around her, and after dismissing their advances several times she started considering them more. It’s been years since she had shared a bed with anyone, and Will was the only one so far. She wanted to believe that she was faithful, but she couldn’t help but consider each advance. She still found herself rejecting them. She was unsure if it was her love for Will, or that she simply was never interested in such thing in the first place. She was ashamed that it was more of the latter. She was even more ashamed to notice that the advances of women would make her reconsider everything more often, even thinking how she could raise Henry with someone she had met. But she still didn’t feel interested enough, and left without pursuing any of the relationships she had the chance to form on sea.

She returned to Henry two days before the sixth month passed. She was a very different woman, wiser, more youthful, and with more blood on her hands. She would miss this life, she would miss sailing and fighting, but in the end she missed Henry more. He was overjoyed to have his mom back, and when Jack visited the day after six months had passed she could see the relief in his face when he saw her. It was a tense conversation, he hadn’t seen her for half a year, and he had no idea what she did. He stayed for several days, the woman leaving and them speaking about everything that had happened. 

He left with her and Henry moving back to the little cottage house at the island where she had last seen Will. It was a painful choice, but seeing the old rooms felt peaceful. They found a nearby town to go to on occasion and buy what they need, Jack would often bring them gold when visiting, most of which she had kept hidden on th island. She knew where it was from but she was thankful still. He would visit less and less, but then stay for up to a month. She would never know when she would see the Black Pearl on the horizon, and she would never know when she would see it leave again. But she knew how much this took for Jack, how much it took for him to stay on land for days and weeks with a small child, and she appreciated it. Barbossa would visit rarely but stay for weeks every time. Henry felt a bit afraid of him, but Barbossa always had a soft spot for the young Turner which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

Week by week the years passed and as Henrys eight birthday came around Elizabeth started anticipating the day on which Will would return to her. She felt joy at first, which slowly turned into anxiety. Would he come back? Was it all for nothing? Would Henry react well? What would Will say to her keeping their child? She felt herself worry and even consider going away. But it would be cruel to decieve Will, she had promised him to wait here for him. She was terrified of how she would feel seeing him again, knowing she had only one day with him. Henry was getting excited, Elizabeth had told him everything about Will as soon as he started asking about his father. Henry saw a brave and great man in him, which made Elizabeth very happy. But her worry was still there, and the week before she had trouble sleeping.

She wondered if she should have joined the crew of the Dutchman instead, maybe she should be sailing with Will instead. Or maybe she should have left Henry to someone and ran away, living on sea and only seeing Will the day she dies on the merciless waters. This thought scared her the most and she refused to let herself believe that it was true. Jack visited a day before, and she was so distraught that she broke several plates which fell from her shaky hands. He helped her relax somewhat and forced her to get some sleep. In the morning he was gone, and Elizabeth had woken up hours later, just as the sun started inching towards the horizon. 

She had quickly gathered herself, and woken up Henry. They left and walked to the cliff, no word uttered. She felt sick to her core, but also struggled to keep her tears unshed. She had never missed Will so much, but she was also terrified of seeing him. As the sun fell lower she could feel herself being overwhelmed by her emotions, and she gripped her dress thightly. The sun was slowly disappearing behind the sea, and she covered her mouth in an attempt to hold back her sobs. Tears were on her face, and she felt herself fall on her knees when the green flash she had seen ten years ago lit up the sky again. A ship was visible in the distance, and Henry stared at it in awe. 

She gathered herself, and followed Henry down to the shore. She started running, and stopped when she felt the sand beneath her feet. A small boat was nearing the shore, and Elizabeth felt like fainting. But she had to stay strong. And she would manage this day. She would manage tomorrows sunset. She would manage. She always would.


End file.
